Saturday, March 14, 2009

Wistful Mother Fuckers

Screw the top ten list, and while I greatly "appreciate" Marybeth's enthusiasm at lending me her copy of Twilight I appreciate David (who she previously lent it to) more for holding off for a beautiful 2 months before finally giving in to Marybeth's nagging and bringing it in for me last Sunday. Honestly, sitting in the break room while Marybeth and Jane hovered over me while I painfully read the preface made me feel like a ignorant, little snot. Jane tried to make me feel better by saying it got philosophical towards the end. To my surprise, it sort of did. I mean the characters all struggle with ethical dilemmas the whole novel through, more so towards the end. While Steph's word choice and sentence syntax leave something to be desired (let's blame the editors for that one) the way she let the plot unravel was indicative of an author who genuinely cared about her characters. Something I can always get behind.

She used "wistful" four more times in the novel. Each time I wanted to fling the book across the room. I did the math, that's a "wistful" every 100 pages pages or so (the novel being just under 500 pages). The symbolism was horrible, but most symbolism in mainstream novels so often is. With all the informational portals at our disposal people still don't like to look up the things they don't know. Honestly, how many of us would have looked to our history books when reading Orwell's Animal Farm to understand the political satire if our English teachers didn't make us? The "love scene," excuse me, that's being generous, the "sniffing scenes" between Edward and Bella made me want to vomit. I don't want to give anything away, but . . . no. I'll end here to be safe. All and all, it seems an over glorified romance novel, but a little romance never hurt anyone. Unless, apparently, you're in love with a vampire. Oh, poor Bella. What will she get herself in to next? I have no idea, and I'm not making any bets or deals with Patty at work that have reading New Moon as one of the conditions. Nope, nope, nope.

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