Okay so here's my gripe. In trying to have a sensible conversation about favorite TV shows with some kid from one of my classes last week I started telling him how I couldn't wait to get home from class so I could lay in my bed and be sick and watch Gangland on Netflix Watch Instantly. That led him to tell me that one of his favorite shows of all time is The Wire which I completely understand, it's a great show, one with depth and compelling plot lines and ... get the picture. Then he tells me how he completely empathizes with a lot of the characters on the show and well I sort of maybe lost it a little. My rant went a little something like this, "You empathize with them ... really? Do you sell drugs? Do you live in the projects? Are you a detective or a politician on the take? Are you from Baltimore? How do you empathize with those characters!?! I mean I love Gangland, but I can't relate to anyone I see on it. I'm pretty sure the only people allowed to EMPATHIZE with anyone on these shows are people who have been in at least one street fight and have been arrested once in their life for something OTHER THAN lewd behavior for a senior prank that was supposed to make you look cool to all your hipsters friends on the DANGEROUS streets of Boxford, MA. I'm sorry but your Andrew Jenks cap covering your Justin Beiber haircut coupled with your non-prescription Buddy Holly glasses and Kanye West-schmedium sense of style is throwing me off."
His response, "I actually live in Hamilton and my friends and I were never arrested for drawing penises all over the freshmen lockers."
I am Jack Donaghy.
Look, I say I love Gangland, but the most hood thing about me is that I have a favorite episode of the show. My "street" friends like me because I'm myself with them. Black men like me because I ask stupid questions like "No, really how would I know if I'd love your black thunder if I don't know what your black thunder is?" I know what it is, but asking stupid questions is my defense mechanism in uncomfortable situations ... along with vicious rhetoric.