Dotted Lines

I never was someone who knew what to say

It sounds beautiful

A beautiful piece from Dinosaur Bees.

The Sound Effects Bible
Larry O. Dean

In the beginning God created the hammering and the electric shaver.

And the cavern was without footsteps, and vacuuming; and darkness was upon the dripping faucet of the sink. And the Spirit of God moved upon the sizzling of the frying pan.

And God said, Let there be light switches: and there was light switches.

And God saw the light switches, that it was good: and God divided the light switches from the doorbells.

And God called the light switches Click, and the dishwasher he called Swoosh.

And the distant plane and the match scratches were the first incoming fax.

And God said, Let there be a floor creak in the midst of the whistling, and let it divide the whipping cream from the washing hands.

And God made the busy signals, and divided the dial tones which were under the hang ups from the ringtones which were above the dogs barking: and it was so.

And God called the coffee grinder Growl. And the garage door and the gas stove were the spigot.

And God said, Let the snoring under the ricochet be gathered together unto one place, and let the alarm clock appear: and it was so.

And God called the toilet flush Gush; and the gathering together of the cheering called he Hooray: and God saw that it was good.

And God said, Let the cell phone bring forth vibrating, the chainsaw yielding buzz, and the modem yielding dial-up after his kind, whose sink draining is in itself, upon the suck: and it was so.

And the explosions brought forth glass, squeaking and breaking after his kind, and the cream yielding shaving, whose scraping was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

And the chattering and the heckling were the studio audience.

And God said, Let there be bravos in the brushing of the carpet to divide the scissors from the sharpening; and let them be for screeches, and for splashes, and for dings, and yells:

and let them be for moos in the clearing of the throats to give ouch upon the eek: and it was so.

And God made two great kisses; the greater kiss to rule the mouth, and the lesser kiss to rule the cheek: he made the smooches also.

And God set them in the oven of the microwaves to give boiling upon the water,

and to rule over the slam and over the deadbolt, and to divide the zip from the zipper: and God saw that it was good.

And the splashing and the sploshing were the motocross.

And God said, Let the bathtub bring forth abundantly the frothing faucet that hath splatter, and keys that may drop onto the bazooka in the open jingle and jangle.

And God created great farts, and every spaceship takeoff that zoometh, which the hair dryer brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every camera click after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

And God blessed them, saying, Be boiling eggs, and bubble, and fill the gusting winds in the hurricanes, and let horses whinny on the slot machines.

And the beep and the burp were the heartbeat.

And God said, Let the ambulance bring forth the siren after his kind, shredder and aerosol can, and bang of the firecracker after his kind: and it was so.

And God made the dentist drill after his kind, and crackling campfire after their kind, and every thing that twangeth upon the train after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

And God said, Let us crash hot rods on our speedways, after our horn honks: and let them have flat tires over the gravel of the roads, and over the screeching of the steel-belted radials, and over the noisy mufflers, and over all the rattling, and over every braking thing that braketh upon the pavement.

So God created ticker-tapes in his own image, in the image of God created he him; effervescence and gurgling created he them.

And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be beep, and buzz, and bowl the ball, and smack it: and have dominion over the disposal of the garbage, and over the register of the cash, and over every flapping wing that flappeth upon the fire extinguisher.

And God said, Behold, I have given you every wine glass clinking, which is upon the tinkling of all the stemware, and every toaster, in the which is the propellor of everything Cessna; to you it shall be for throttling.

And to every jackhammer of the pneumatic, and to every blender of the liquefying, and to every thing that pureeth upon the velcro, wherein there is chopping, I have given every sputter for splat: and it was so.

And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good.

And the helicopter and the laser beam were the can-opener.