Where should it lie . . .

all this regret, that is. I have no idea where to put it.

Want a kid?

Come to Marshalls. We're giving them away free. Normally we'll have Code Adams . . . parents looking for their kids, but the last few days we've been getting kids looking for their parents. Like 3 year olds. All by themselves. So yeah . . . they're cute, they're free, and we'll even let you return them if they don't match your home decor.

"Sorry Ma'am, I couldn't find that dress you wanted, but is this scared, crying 4 year old girl yours? I found her by the door wishing she belonged to someone who gave a shit."






I can relate. That's how I feel when people leave the toilet seat up.






For sanity's sake AND because I honestly believe it, that's how I feel about all my exes. That secret could easily be mine.

Association

Dear God,

Association is easy. Disassociation is so much harder. Not fair. Wish you would do something about that.

Sincerely,
Someone who just wants to jam to Bruce and Bjork again