Books, books, and more books

Dear America,
I am impressed by your expansive literary appetite. I love that it encompasses all extremes. I am even more impressed by the incredible understanding of most literary critical theory. The discussions that go on in those college campus classes are only ever lacking in one area: listening. My heart is deeply broken to find out that the average college student is more in love with the sound of his own voice, more impressed with the volumes of his own knowledge and more interested in proving his own points than he is with learning the views of his fellow students. Do me a favor, America? Stop ruining the plot of books or book series. Thank you Orson Scott Card snot for proving how much you love the series in the SciFi section of Borders by summarizing about what 10 novels or something like that. I'm sure had I actually been listening to you I'd be more pissed at you. A simple, "Yeah, I like the series, I hope you do too" would have fucking sufficed. I think the whole big boob thing works for me when I want to play vapid. Fearing what my new book friend might say when my hand went for the Neil Gaiman, I turned to him and said, "Oh, it isn't for me. It's for my little brother. He likes all that space stuff . . . " I love the SciFi nerd scoff. It's far more interesting than most scoffs. It usually involves this whole upper body movement I'm never quite prepared for, followed immediately by the shaking of the head and the eyes always falling directly on me. Trust me America, I'm someone who rarely ever says or does the right thing according to most, I get scoffed at a lot. I am a "scoffing" expert.
Tell me about your family, tell me how you felt about your college roommate, tell me something I can't find in a book. Or better yet, if you must tell me about a book, tell me how it makes you feel. Tell me your name and ask me mine. Oh please America. You're failing, miserably.
Sincerely,
Me

But showing me this is pretty cool. Just sayin'