Embarrassing moments

So I'm pretty sure the last time I saw my cousin, Paul, I was 4 and dancing on the feet of our Uncle Rock. (Yes, that's an actual name.) Then there was an awkward moment with his aunt (my 2nd cousin) who tried to gave me his email address in high school when I was struggling with math. I really don't know much about the man but yesterday at a family function my mother decided to embarrass me by telling every one that I, too, am a writer but that the only story I've ever let her read was one I wrote back in the 4th grade about my grandmother's cats as Private Detectives Peanuts and Popcorn. It was a murder mystery with a talking parrot as the key piece of evidence that helped solve the case. I've been buying my mother Lehane books and Raymond Chandler books this past year and she's taken to none of them. This morning she begged me to get up early and grab a copy of the Globe with a story about Paul in it. Now she wants me to go on a search with her to buy his books. "Don't order them online," she says. "If we make a store order them, maybe the store will catch on and order more." That's my mom, the thinker.

Kill me. Somebody please kill me.

The Real

I think it was in Kierkegaard's Either/Or where he describes a "real moment." You'll just feel it. You'll stop whatever it was you were doing and move. Like a panic attack, with all the anxiety, but rather than run from the thing, you'll run towards it. Can you even imagine the exhilaration? I imagine this song describes "real."

So good

(No matter where you're going.)

RE: list of things that make me happy 2010 (machine color)

a list in picture form and in no particular order


flipping people off, old people, vacation-wear, the beach


babies with fuzzy hair, cake messes


adidas all the way


books, wine, cakes with fruit toppings, burlesque dancers, queens, vests, ruffles, fishnet tights, boobies


Elvis, Hawaiian shirts, lays, ukuleles

Pirates are sexy

An interview worth reading.

I found this interview inspiring in a number of ways. I like that he came right out and said that what he was doing was illegal, and not morally sound (he did try to justify it, but I found some of those points compelling).

Maybe if the twinge of guilt is still there and the appreciation for the art itself remains intact, perhaps the means to acquire said art could be considered a secondary sin at best, er worst.

So kudos, The Real Caterpillar. Great handle!!

You wanna talk about games ...

Poor Ender Wiggin

The one real thing, the one precious real thing was his memory of Valentine, the person who loved him before he ever played a game, who loved him whether there was a buggar war or not, and they had taken her and put her on their side. She was one of them now . . . He had had only one memory that was safe, one good thing, and those bastards had plowed it into him with the rest of the manure--- and so he was finished, he wasn't going to play.

And who could blame him? We cherish the memories that remind us we're human .... whatever that means.

I wish

It's my birthday and I wish there was some nicer way to put this song on here.

Have we all heard some version of the Judgment of Solomon before? If not follow the link.

So now that we're all on the same page, it is what it is, it's just one of those things, it's complicated and . . .

"When the soul and the heart can no longer bear the burden, the lungs take over one half of it, so that the weight will at least be evenly distributed."--- Kafka, on his lung illness

Does that make it any clearer?

I don't want to see you torn apart, and if that means I breathe a little heavier, if things are a little rougher . . . well, that's just how it has to be.

Jump

Poetry Corner

But they'll still look in your eyes

to find the human inside . . .

Make me feel tiny if it makes you feel tall . . .

Yeah you're the shit, but you won't be it for long.

When you don't care then you got nothing to lose.

Flume

To download Peter Gabriel's cover of Bon Iver's Flume, sign up here.

All of Post Secret's posted secrets were great today. But this one hit home.




I didn't know anything at 22, and now just days before my 26th birthday, I must admit to not knowing that much more.

Maybe xkcd will shed some light with scientific prove of love.




In the movie Lars and the Real Girl, an important point was made about growing up. It's one of those things that sticks with me.

Lars Lindstrom: I was talking to Bianca, and she was saying that in her culture they have these rites of passages and rituals and ceremonies, and, just all kinds of things that, when you do them, go through them, let you know that you're an adult? Doesn't that sound great?

Gus: It does.

Lars Lindstrom: How'd you know?

Gus: How'd I know what?

Lars Lindstrom: That you were a man

Gus: Ahhh. I couldn't tell ya.

Lars Lindstrom: Was it... okay, was it sex?

Gus: Um. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's uh, yeah, yeah it's kind of - it's uh - no. Well, it's kind of sex but it's not uh, you know? I don't know. I don't know. It's - uh - good question, good question.

Lars Lindstrom: Yeah, but I have to know

Gus: [dryer buzzes] Hold that thought.

Gus: [in basement] You know, you should ask Dagmar

Lars Lindstrom: I did ask Dagmar. And she said that I should ask you.

Gus: Okay, you know I can only give you my opinion.

Lars Lindstrom: That's what we want

Gus: Well, it's not like you're one thing or the other, okay? There's still a kid inside but you grow up when you decide to do right, okay, and not what's right for you, what's right for everybody, even when it hurts.

Lars Lindstrom: Okay, like what?

Gus: Like, you know, like, you don't jerk people around, you know, and you don't cheat on your woman, and you take care of your family, you know, and you admit when you're wrong, or you try to, anyways. That's all I can think of, you know - it sound like it's easy and for some reason it's not.

Sometimes you want to make the people you love happy. But then you look at all the facts, you count the number of times you've hurt them and as much as you want to keep trying to get things right you realize they just may be better off without you. And that's love. Just love of a different sort.

The Original

Two-Step

So my camera died . . . well I forgot to charge it rather, so all I could take were these photos with my phone of yesterday's adventure. Other people had cameras, somewhere out there in the internet world there are horribly embarrassing photos of me. Hopefully I'll never see them.


Always a happy bumper sticker to see, especially on the start of a trip!


This comforter at Motel 6 knocked my socks off! Just kidding, I always wear my socks in motel rooms. There were only a few funky smells. (And a hole in our tub, sorry no photo).


We may not have had an alarm or radio in our room, but we had a bottle opener . . . nailed to the wall. What else do you really need at a Motel 6?


This was the bull at Cadillac Ranch that I was too scared to tackle.



This is my photographic interpretation of the level of drunkenness I had reached at 4 AM in a Connecticut Denny's.

Funny facts

One of the guys from the trip kept telling me I could order a comforter just like the one from Motel 6 online. Why he knew that? I have no idea. Update: I think he's full of shit. I couldn't find anything about it.

Some man tried the, "Are you a model?" line on me. Twice. After he did it to my friend.

I danced with the most delightful older gentlemen. He was sweet. The last guy that grabbed me and swung me onto the dance floor was not.

My friend played this song for me in the car ride down. I have no idea why. But it was fucking hilarious.

I met a lady who said "fuck" and "douche bag" more than me. She was my hero. She also carried a gun and rides a motorcycle. Those last two things scare me. She rocked out to Lita Ford with me in the car.

When I was at the height of my drunken state, I had to try to show my other drunk friend how to throw a "West Side" gang sign. We looked like two very autistic children trying to communicate with one another. It was so she could pose for a picture with her other friend that looks very much like this one. But it is not. That chic has sweaty pits.



Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I usually plan things around this holiday so I can spend it by myself and with close friends and family. It isn't a holiday for couples. It's a holiday to celebrate love and loved ones.

Creative Writing 101

I'm embarrassed to say how much I like an Uncle Kracker song. But I do, I do, I do so love this song. I loved this interview for it, too.

"It was just a conscience decision to write a positive song, Creative Writing 101, I guess."

Autopost is cool. Fingers crossed I'm on a mechanical bull by now, or at least eating some peanut butter chicken wings.

The Story of My Life

This horoscope is the story of my life.

If you are single, "When will you ever settle down!" will be the lament of your family. Someone you love may decide to take matters into their own hands and start pushing a strange and inappropriate assortment of potential partners in your face.

Caddy Ranch tonight!!! Then a whole weekend off. This is all so fantastic. Shut up stupid horoscope, nobody asked you.

Give it to 'em in black and white

Sweet Disposition

What an odd week. An odd week, indeed.

I had an emergency trip to see Dr. James Brown today. It's worth the co-pay just to hear him crack jokes. I'm okay. Finally finding a doctor that puts me at ease in such a hellish place feels great.

This is pretty pimp.



Finally saw (500) Days of Summer. Great movie. The boys were stuuuuuupid for not wanting to see it. I want a chalk board wall, I will have a chalk board wall. It was pretty great that the next day after seeing the movie, this song was the first song I heard at work.



I like it when cool things like that happen.

Speaking of cool things: My friend just asked me what time the midnight showing of The Wolfman was . . . I let him think that question over.

Weezer is instant money maker shaking music